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Melissa
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« on: June 27, 2007, 04:09:46 PM »

With permission from Larae at DE, I've copied and paste this post below with my comments in red.

I very much agree with her and I couldn't have put it better myself. I'm seeing a lot of issues within the Vampire community, I've witness it in the Gothic Community and even noticed the Pagan community is having it's share of well, for a lack of a better word, crap entering it's communities. Since when does porn and violence and perversion and hurting others and animals have anything to do with these subcultures? Quite frankly I'm disgusted with what I've seen recently,  within these communities. If you take a stand on something you disagree with, you're a fluffy bunny or don't believe in freedom of speech. I've seen egotistical people entering communities and proclaiming themselves all powerful and spiteful and wanting to get revenge on people who they claim did them wrong. When do we start standing up for what we believe in? Why do we have to entertain these ideas when these ideas are against our own morals and beliefs?

-Melissa


Original Post by Larae

What has happened to our communities?

Lately, more than ever, I feel such a great sadness when I look at our vampire and Gothic communities as a whole. I sit bewildered and aghast as to what my eyes and mind behold. I know it has been eroding away for quite some time, but I hadn't realized it was doing so at such a fast rate and so extensively.

So many of our strong community leaders have left our scene leaving us with only small remnants of their grace, charm, and wisdom that made our communities as beautiful as they were. They were the cornerstones of our internet and social world. They inspired and uplifted so many of us with their intelligence, wit and grace. They gave us courage to confront all that was within, to embrace that which lay within the darkness of our soul and bring it forth into the light. They taught us to love ourselves again and to celebrate life and hold it sacred, to see beauty where we once seen grotesque. They were the Gentleman and the Lady that we all admired and aspired to imitate. I mourn their faded presence so very much.

I remember the Gothic Convergences and Vampire Balls of the recent past. I remember the magic and beautiful energy that flowed within our midst. I remember the recreation of the Victorian Era and medieval times that I have always been so drawn to. For a moment, I almost felt as though I had actually slipped into a time machine and had been given the opportunity to relive a past life I once knew. It was only a few hours, but those few hours gave me such great happiness and serenity. I looked forward to each passing years events, the people, and the conversation. I looked forward to conversing with others who loved Poe as much as I, or admire the same exquisiteness on canvas stroked by Van Gogh, Claude Monet, or Leighton. I remember speaking to others and admiring the elegant masterpieces within places such as Père-Lachaise Cemetery, Chartres Cathedral, and Notre-Dame who gazed upon it with the same splendor as I. I remember the dark, alluring romanticism that always had a presence, there was never a need to attach it to any mythological connotations, it was just something that existed and just was. I remember just “being” and submerging my soul in all of its brilliance.

These things have all but come to pass, and a new wave has come upon the shore crashing the existence of what once was. Domination, bondage, porn, rudeness, illiteracy, sexual deviancy, hatred, drugs, fantasy clinging, instability, perversion, suicide, death, depression, stupidity, and lack of self respect for one's self or others has been named the successor. It has been choking the beauty that existed in our gardens of darkness and there are but only a few black roses that remain, but they are struggling to survive. I wonder if they have the strength to endure. This never was and should never have been. I pray that they do not wilt and die. If only others could help tend our dying garden and nurture it back to the vigor it once had. I have to believe that there is always hope. I wish for the beauty that once existed in our culture to find it's way back again.. before it's too late.

Or, is it already to late? Am I only a dreamer?
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Sacredsin
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« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2007, 10:30:41 PM »

I've already posted my sentiments on this topic over at DE.  I'm very saddened by what I've seen in the community, and I'm hoping things will turn to a better state soon.  That being said, I was talking to my boyfriend about this very topic when I thought, shouldn't we go out and try to make the change ourselves?  Is anything going to change if we just sit around in our own safe communities without trying to spread reform elsewhere just with our words and actions?  Lol, or maybe I'm being young and naive.  Shouldn't we be doing something more in order to make things better?
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Melissa
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« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2007, 01:38:57 PM »

Quote
I thought, shouldn't we go out and try to make the change ourselves?  Is anything going to change if we just sit around in our own safe communities without trying to spread reform elsewhere just with our words and actions?  Lol, or maybe I'm being young and naive.  Shouldn't we be doing something more in order to make things better?

Larae and I talked about that on the phone yesterday when I asked to "borrow" this latest post by her. I don't think it would work if we went around to other communities and voiced our opinions on the subculture. I think that could lead to alot of drama and chaos, which I try to avoid at all costs! LOL But, if we make changes, maybe we'll start seeing a difference! And maybe more will pick up on these ideas and maybe that will spread into other communities. In a way, we're both already doing just that, with what type of people we allow to come into our cyber homes and our rules and what we allow to linger in our forums. Maybe some of these people who remember what it was like in these online communities will come out of the woodwork, because they miss what it once was. The communities and people were fun! There was a bond there cause we all shared the same ideas.
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« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2007, 03:09:39 PM »

Yeah, I understand what you mean, Mel.  I took a better look at the community (both vampire and goth) last night just by browsing through the top site lists.  I couldn't believe the amount of X rated stuff I came across.  I just can't fathom why people these days are drawn by that stuff, or the level of fakeness  I see around the other sites.  But you are right, now that I think about it.  What I meant by inciting a change was, joining other vampire sites and being ourselves, may make others want to improve themselves too?  As in maybe they will see that there are sites like DE and ADN out there and want to come here instead, although I understand thats what the top site lists are for too.  Is there anyway we could advertise more on either or both sites to draw some of those people out of the woodwork, so to speak?  Lol, I'm just thinking out loud here.  I do agree that you and Larae are right though.  After all the searching I did last night, I was rather disheartened and wouldn't know where to begin anyways.  Some of those sites just made me sick.  Undecided
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« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2007, 02:23:33 PM »

The advertising is a little difficult now, because so many topsites/banner exchanges are just filled with the same type of sites that you ran across the other night and if you don't want to promote that type of stuff (or don't want some of that coming onto your own site), you have a very hard time finding good sites to link to or use their services. Both myself and Larae have been searching for good banner exchanges and topsites to use as promotion. So what do you do? Do you promote your site on these same banner exchanges or topsites or do you look for more obscure one's that don't contain the crap? I've been trying to figure out that one myself! LOL
As far as joining some of these other communities, that may work, I don't know. I'm so hesitant to join other communities, cause I rarely speak up on other sites, because of my shyness. You may not believe that, but it's true! lol But we definitely need to get back to the way things were at one time and make the Gothic and Vampire communities something we can be proud of.
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« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2007, 04:49:24 PM »

I have been dismayed by what is happening to the communities for some time now.

I have watched sites that I went to because of their lack of tolerance for rudeness and drama.. and because of their intelligence of posts become battlegrounds. They now are tolerating the very rudeness, drama and incivility that they stood firmly not long ago.
One board was averaging 110 posts a day when I went there not all that long ago. Now they are down to an average of 8 a day. All of the Elders of that board have left, and it has begun to harbor people that were banned from other boards because they are friends of the new "leaders". Those that were part of the old guard or stand up for their way are viewed with suspicion and even disdain for being "old fashioned"...outdated.

I have also watched the elders of our community step down (often from disgust) and be replaced with very young and often abrasive people who think that they qualify to guide because they have been awakened for 2 years.
Please know I have nothing against the young, but comparing the experience and knowledge of being awakened for two years with someone who had been for 30 years is a bit ridiculous.

Several of the old boards that I was on have not only become battlefields, but are attacking others. Why are we at war with each other?
I am actually sickened by the incivility and rudeness, which is one reason I have started trying to find other (smaller) boards that still uphold some standards.
I recently joined one (that shall go nameless of course) and my introduction post was attacked because I stated that I had a problem with incivility. I was told I had better get used to it. I have never posted there again.

I am actually isolating more and more because of this issue, and I think I may not be the only one. This saddens me. So much richness and beauty is being destroyed. It truly makes me want to cry when I think of it.



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Melissa
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« Reply #6 on: June 29, 2007, 07:39:28 PM »

I know exactly what you talking abut Poppy, I've seen the same thing. And I have to admit at one time I did go after members of my site out in the open. However, it was the type of members who would come onto my site and not bother to read the rules and continue to disregard the rules  or claim they are some kind of ancient vampire or from some White Wolf clan. These I did go after publicly. As I've gotten older and my tolerance levels have decreased, I don't want to even spend any wasted energy or time on individuals like this. I simply hit that delete button on the post, contact the member or if it's really bad, I just flat out ban.
I won't allow my forums to become a playground for children who want to sit and belittle each other. I worked too damn hard on a building a website to see it end up like that. That's also why I have so many rules in place. I've been building community sites for quite a while now and a couple of them were quite popular, to the point that I practically lived on my website in order to keep up with all the posts. Those days, I believe are gone, but I still think we can set an example of what the community should be like and as I stated above maybe eventually, it will catch on again.
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« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2007, 07:45:29 PM »

I agree, Melissa. Hopefully it will come to pass with work and patience.
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Aquilus
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« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2007, 08:38:05 AM »

Perhaps I am restating some of what has already been said, but as the saying goes:

WE ARE THE ONES WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR.

Not being technologically inclined, (but working on changing that,) I can only imagine what it takes to make Aquilus or DE happen. Here in this place we have an oasis for those searching for the elusive Something which exists in beauty beneath the illusory facade for which so many people settle. I would say that if anything, our subculture is like the moon. It appears to wax and wane, but is ever-present and ever-abundant for those who know what to look for, for those who know how to see.

I spend some time every day focusing on connecting with those who I consider kin. Every day a little time focusing on the well-being, the thriving of the group I have
come to think of as Family. Time well-spent, in my humble opinion.
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« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2007, 02:08:38 PM »

I agree, we who care about this have to become the solution. Finding like-minded people is the beginning,, and I believe there are many here. Smiley
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« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2007, 02:59:56 PM »

As a lifelong outsider might I ask if  you actually developed a structure for this subculture?
Nothing without a framework has EVER lasted.
I have seen a lot of the Goth Vampire scene taking root in the Klingon subculture which is not bad but it is different.
With any movement there needs to be some hierarchy to keep the message from being lost or diluted.
Organized religion has this sort of structure perhaps it is time to put your ideals where your concerns lie.
As was said, perhaps YOU ARE THE ONES YOU ARE WAITING FOR.

I know how you feel Melissa about having less patience with people YOU KNOW ARE WRONG!
Frankly there are few forums I frequent, this is one that I do .
But consider that: You know what is wrong, would that not make you well suited to remedy the situation?
Sure there is Porn (it has existed since the prehistoric era it is NOT going away as long as humans have baser instincts) and the gore hounds
who salivate to pictures you might see in Fangoria do muddy the waters.

That is why you may want to consider how you can work a national/international council of serious like minded men and women
who if they cannot eliminate the confusion can actively compartmentalize the nonsense like the Role Playing Game.
You are not playing dress up and neither am I .

We are shaping the world in our own little way inspired by ideals and concepts, in this regard you are not very different from Star Trek fans.
There is a spiritual connection to what we choose to believe in, true spirituality is believing in what YOU want to believe in not what OTHERS want you to believe that is of course religion. Perhaps it is not dying, it may be that no one to this point was inclined to do anything.
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Melissa
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« Reply #11 on: June 30, 2007, 05:50:54 PM »

Quote
As a lifelong outsider might I ask if  you actually developed a structure for this subculture?

People have tried to developed a "structure" for this subculture, however, when you get down to the bottom line, people are going to do what they want to do. You can't govern the Vampire Community or Gothic Community like a government or make it into some kind of religion. That's the last thing the community needs and it will not work, in my opinion. A lot of times in situations like this someone claims to be the "Voice" or the "Head" of the community, but that ego has a tendency to get in the way or their voice is not how everyone feels in the community. And there have been a lot of power struggles to get where other's are. What it boils down to in my opinion, is ego trips. If we go outside of our own communities and raise our voices and demand things to change, it's going to be looked at by some in the same manner as I said above. That's why I personally believe in starting small and worrying about my own community and aligning myself and affiliating with others that I know feel the same way or don't promote or allow the negativity, hate and sex. Maybe over time, it's not going to happen over night, there will be change.

It's my belief that everything dies out eventually, I hope this is just a phase, what I'm concentrating on here is my own little community and what I like and what I want to bring back into the community and eventually it may catch back on. I've never been a participant in the Gothic or Vampire Community as a whole, I don't go to events, I don't talk with other's that are consider leaders of the community. I never wanted to be a part of it. I just wanted to have my own site where my own morals and ideas are shared with others of like mind, but when all of this ends up knocking on my doors or DE, our sister site, then it does become an issue we have to voice our opinion on and take a stand against allowing the same to happen in our cyber homes.

And BTW, I'm moving this thread since we have a Subculture forum now.
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« Reply #12 on: July 13, 2007, 09:30:34 PM »

Being a newcomer to this particular community, it is quite refreshing to read what everyone has to say.  I must agree with you in that the Vampyre and Gothic Communities have taken a change in recent times.  It saddens me when I go to networking sites to meet more people that share the same interests/views/lifestyles and find things that are not what our communities are about.  I especially am finding people who think that being vampyre is what it is like in the movies.
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« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2007, 08:06:30 PM »

I am very new to this communtiy, and I am glad that you are respecting the community as it is and was. I find it very sad  about the downfalls of certain communities, and feel the same way you do. I especially find it annoying when I find that some sites claim "myths" to be reality. Such as what Lady Catherine said
I especially am finding people who think that being vampyre is what it is like in the movies.

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« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2007, 11:47:32 AM »

My boyfriend and I know a girl that when she was introduced to the Wiccan faith, she thought she could do the things that they show in the movie "The Craft" and in the Harry Potter series.  Also, when she found out some people she knew were vampyre, she wanted to become one.  Now I can say from experience that being vampyre is not exactly fun.  When will people get their heads out of the clouds and realize that some things are impossible and always will be?
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« Reply #15 on: July 15, 2007, 01:32:54 PM »

My boyfriend and I know a girl that when she was introduced to the Wiccan faith, she thought she could do the things that they show in the movie "The Craft" and in the Harry Potter series.  Also, when she found out some people she knew were vampyre, she wanted to become one.  Now I can say from experience that being vampyre is not exactly fun.  When will people get their heads out of the clouds and realize that some things are impossible and always will be?
True, I do agree that is way past the line. Some people are so focused on their fantasy that they don't see reality. I do hate having to repeat myself when some of my friends" ask questions" about this. It's so surprising how often (in general) people actually pry, and annoy about the myths (vs reality).

Although I haven't encountered many types of "pryer's"-- annoyingly curious--I still have the few friends that know, and seem interested, but only in the mythological part, not facts.  It still surprises me today, just how much one of my cousins pry at the very idea of it. I find it rude, annoying, and sometimes, vulgar.
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« Reply #16 on: July 15, 2007, 05:16:07 PM »

I also agree.  It's not good how we are looked upon because of some people who don't really know what its all about.  Some people live in there own world and because they say they are a vampire or a witch, or gothic, we get the fall.  Its hard to make a change because of this.  When people hear the word vampire,witch, goth, etc... they right away think of the bad things like what they see on tv, on the news and don't know any better.  They label it and its hard to changes people's minds.  I don't hide who I am, but some people do think oh my god she is evil and whatever else they think.  The only thing I can do is try to explain that it is not like it is in the movies and what I believe has nothing to do with hurting people or animals.  And that we are caring and loving people, just like everyone else.  But if you look at it, it takes one person to do something bad a label it and we are all bad people.  People are scared of what they don't know and what they don't understand.
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Melissa
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« Reply #17 on: July 16, 2007, 01:26:36 PM »

I understand completely where you guys are coming from with the fantasy stuff. There's so many terrible sites out there specifically dealing with vampyrism.
I've gotten so frustrated with what I've seen and then when people have been subjected to that information and they come here and they try to spew that same fantasy BS here, I get really frustrated and a lot of times, you can't tell them the truth because they just won't accept it. I've never understood why someone would want to be something they are not.  My article: For the Seeker was written after I had done a search for other Vampyre sites out there and I came across one in particular that was really frightening. The other thing I don't understand is that there's  good websites with great information that are linking to other websites that are more or less fantastical crap. I don't understand how you can justify linking to information that is so incredibly incorrect!
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« Reply #18 on: September 26, 2007, 10:43:09 PM »

I also feel a little steam of anger come from within when I think about the way vampires are misrepresented by certain sites. However,I look around and see the wonderful sites that are around and I think that overall, there is a wonderful growth in the vampire communities and that with time and a growing population of real vampires emerging that in time the vampiric communities will be able to triumph over the negative aspects with intellect and a well rounded continued presence. I think that even if there are semi remission periods of subculture that there are evolutionary growth periods on the way. Wink
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